week in review...

i was able to go to the "clinic" (as "insiders"call it, haha) again this morning which was great. i went to 3 groups... wow. i think i'm a lot happier than the average patient there. even when i was really big (and really unhappy/in denial about that) i still was a relatively happy person. it's hard not to be when i have the most precious & loving child who loves me SO MUCH regardless of my weight... in fact, he's the only person who hasn't made one comment about my weight before or after. aah, the beauty & unconditional love of an (almost) 3.5 year old boy!!! =)

i weighed less this morning (i think 2.4 pounds less than i did on wed.) which didn't surprise me since it was a morning weigh-in. the really cool thing is that i looked at my blood work from this week & last. the "liver test" (forgot what it's called) is supposed to be between 10-40 (don't quote me on the "10" part) and mine 1.5 weeks ago was 140 which is why dr. f was so concerned. on wed. it was 44, only 4 points from normal. the really exciting part is that my ferritin (iron) level is FINALLY NORMAL!!! it was a 10 - the minimum normal but a huge increase from the -1 it was 2.5 months ago! yay! my hematocrit (iron in my blood, i believe???) went from 25.2 (very close to needing a blood transfusion - who knew?) to 34.6 (35 is the minimum in the range - i'm so close)! so, i'm *barely* anemic, if at all, anymore. yay yay yay! i was really concerned about it. the biggest notice is not a huge change in energy (sadly) but the fact that i don't crave ice like a mad woman like i did a few months ago (a common symptom of anemia). my triglycerides were also *almost* normal -- 155 with 150 being the maximum in the range. cholesterol has always been fine but i still need to bring up my "good" cholesterol... need to start working out to do that. anyway, it felt great to see this labwork. let's hope it contiues. =)

on another note, i've been much hungrier - especially in the evenings - for the past 3 nights. it's so annoying. hard to tell if it's emotional eating and/or true hunger. i had an extra bar 2 nights ago and an extra yogurt last night. been eating lots of pickles and chewing gum. wish/hope that this "feeling to eat eat eat" will resolve quickly.

and that about wraps up my "week in review, weight-loss edition". =)

51.4 pounds later....and a sigh of relief

I love before & after photos... they really help motivate me to keep going....

I'm breathing a huge sigh of relief over here... talked to Dr. F today and my liver enzymes(?) are almost back to normal... Thank You, G-d!!! So I can continue on the program and, more importantly, I'm okay (hopefully -- knock on wood)!

I'm getting lots of nice compliments these days. Two co-workers this week told me that I'm looking"fantastic"... so sweet. Some days I really feel great and other moments... still huge... guess that's all part of this fun "game". Regardless, I am so very very very thankful that I've found such a wonderful program and that I've been able to control my eating for the first time in a very long, long time. The fat suit is slowly peeling off of me... and I'm beginning to emerge again.... cheezy but so true.

milestone... and a health scare

I hit 50 pounds tonight!!! 51.4 to be exact... very exciting! I lost 1.8 pounds this week - 3 pounds total in the last 1.5 weeks... definitely slower than I had been losing. I'm probably going to start walking/working out which will hopefully speed things up a little again. Not that I'm complaining, really... it's just hard not to feel a little less excited when I was losing 4-8 pounds per week for the last few months (usually). My blood pressure was also unusually HIGH today (140/96) which brings me to the health scare...

When meeting with Dr. F tonight, I found out that something is up with my liver. I had my blood drawn last week (since it's a modified fasting diet you get your blood drawn every 2-4 weeks) and my liver labwork was off. I don't know too many more details because, frankly, I was afraid to ask. Dr. F had me get more bloodwork taken tonight and should know the results by Friday. Since I'm a "worst case scenario" kind of gal, I'm afraid I'm horribly sick or something. Hopefully, of course, it's nothing. Or it may mean that I have to start eating more. I'm hoping I won't think about it too much in the upcoming days. I definitely am feeling nervous about it. =(

weekly update

Another week has passed and, overall, the week has been fairly easy for me, in terms of the program. I'm (finally) feeling adjusted to being back to work so that has definitely helped. I haven't been really craving food or wanting to binge either which is always a relief.

I lost 1.2 pounds this week -- not a huge amount -- but I went in on Thursday night so it hadn't been a full week plus it was nighttime (I got weighed before on a Saturday). The 2 classes/groups were great. I just love being there so much, wish I could go 3 times a week. It is so motivating and helpful.

I'm only .4 (less than half a pound) away from 50 pounds which is about halfway to my goal. Hopefully I'll get there by Thursday.

2 months!!!

I've been on the program for exactly 2 months now! I am ECSTATIC about the following (in no particular order):

-- my bmi is no longer in the "morbidly obese" range

-- i've lost almost 50 pounds (48.4)

-- my blood pressure is normal now (usually)

-- my blood sugar is normal now

-- i've gone down 3 sizes in clothes which means i'm beginning to wear much cuter clothes again ;)

-- i'm beginning to feel like myself again and not me stuck in a fat suit

-- i can walk much faster

-- i can go up the stairs without losing my breath

-- i'm much prouder of myself... i have so much more confidence now

-- i'm in control. again. finally!!!

the last 2 months have been close to miraculous. i feel like this program is literally a lifesaver. i don't know what would have happened if i hadn't joined when i did (actually, i do and it's not pretty!) . i am very very thankful for this wonderful program and for my amazing family & friends who have been there for me through it all, thick and not-as-thick. ;)

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on another note, i started feeling MUCH better yesterday, Thank G-d. Not sure if it was a stomach bug or complications from my period??? Just glad I'm not sick anymore. Was able to make it to GW (lost 4.8 lbs this week) and attend 2 classes. I really need to start talking less in the classes... I just get so excited & can relate so well to what everyone's saying... it's hard to shut myself up some times... but i will *try* to!!!

ROUGH... with an UPDATE at the end

the past 24 hours have been somewhat difficult. Yesterday was the 1st day of Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, and I woke up exhausted with horrible cramps from "my friend Flo". The first day or two of my period is usually pretty uncomfortable but yesterday was OUT.OF.CONTROL. I spent the first 12 or so hours doubled over and then I threw up on 2 separate occasions last night (sorry for TMI!). I don't think I've ever had such bad cramps and I certainly don't ever remember being nauseous with it (I'm definitely not pregnant, either, even though it feels like I am)!

To make matters oh-so-worse Adam LOST.HIS.SH*T at my mom's house last night, in front of her boyfriend & his daughter. After being an angel all day, he started knocking stuff down and being a little terror. For real. It was awful & left me very upset... I'll leave it at that.

I'm leaving for work in a few minutes. I don't even know if I slept 3 hours last night. The cramps are not as bad today but I'm still a little nauseous and so emotionally & physically drained and exhausted that I'm seriously counting the hours until I can take a nap this afternoon. I can't take off work/leave early since I did that yesterday (for RH) and it's the first week of school.

At least it's Friday, right?!?

UPDATE: (caution: I'm about to write some pretty gory details about my upset stomach)...
So, about 20 minutes after I wrote this, when I was literally about to leave for work, I threw up the water I had drinken (lovely). I managed to get to work, walked in and thought I would pass out right then & there. Told the administrative intern that I was sick (so thankful he's cool) and went back in the car for the 14 minute ride home. Promptly 7 minutes later I threw up IN THE CAR WHILE DRIVING. I had a bag, at least. Made it home (Thank you, G-d) and decided that I had Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS). Called the nurse at GW and she said it was a possibility and that I should be seen by a Doctor. Had S take off work to drive me 45 minutes to see my doctor (in case I got sick in the car again; can't be that safe)... by that time, my low-grade fever was gone and I was feeling a bit better. TSS was ruled out (shocker, right?) due to my unusually HIGH blood pressure (probably b/c I'm sick.... anyway, it's low with TSS) and lack of fever. Declared it a stomach bug and gave me some Zol.fran to help with the nausea (it has but has left me a little out of it). So, there you have it. What a way to start the (Jewish) New Year! Oy! I just hope and pray that S or A (or my mom) don't get it! I also hope I feel better to go to GW for my weekly appt tomorrow.... I'm out of food (almost) and I miss the classes. Here's hoping!!!

week 8 update

My little love, A, starts preschool - officially - tomorrow. he'll be at the same school that he's been in for the last 2 years... but with a different teacher and mostly new classmates. we're BOTH nervous!!!

This could be why i'm so flippin' hungry tonight! gum is a lifesaver, though... i'm on my 2nd piece and it's helping to curb my cravings. shocking considering i never chewed gum until a few weeks ago.

One really cool part of losing weight is i can be in pictures again! even though i HATED (OMG) how i looked in photos for 3 years now -- and avoided them at all costs -- i still would take a pic of A and I together every month or so. i once read on a blog that kids want to see pics of them with their parents... regardless of how the parent looks... which i totally agree with. the great thing is now i ASK for steven to take my picture! such a change!

Above is a before/after "sitting down" pic with adam... the first pic was taken in june (pre weight loss) and the 2nd pic was taken yesterday (-43+ pounds down). pretty.freakin'.cool... if i do say so myself. =)

Overall, as I'm wrapping up week 8, I'm feeling very, very thankful. Thankful to G-d for giving me the strength to do this, thankful for GW's phenomenal program & thankful for family & friends who have loved me throughout... thick or thin (literally).

43.6

I went into GW today, finally! it had been 9 days since i was last in the clinic and i was really missing the groups there. i was very happy to see that i lost 8.4 lbs since then... esp. since i had gained .6 during that weigh-in, even though i was following the program. anyway, i was definitely pleased - and relieved - that i'm continuing to lose. My first weigh-in (my highest weight) was on july 10th and i started the program (food-wise) on july 11th. in exactly one week, it will be 2 months on the program. Man, it seriously feels like TWO YEARS. anyway. the cool thing is that my bmi is .3 points away from being "severely obese" instead of "morbidly obese". i'm really hoping i'll hit that "milestone" in the upcoming week.

i meet with the endocrinologist doctor today, dr. m, since dr. f doesn't work on saturdays. she is also concerned about my anemia... ugh. she thinks i should have a colonoscopy to see if i have an ulcer if it doesn't improve more. lovely. i'm going to start taking 2 iron pills a day so i'm praying that my hemoglobin levels go up.

on another note, i haven't been as hungry lately which is definitely a positive. however, i felt like eating today to "celebrate" my loss. how ironic, huh?!?