ch-ch-ch-CHANGES

as my post title mentions, i'm going through lots of changes and not just of the weight-loss type. the biggest news is that, starting tomorrow, i'll be working FULL-TIME (5 days a week) instead of 3 days as week like i have been the last 1.5 years. overall, this is a good thing and something i wanted (i think). long story short... i love my job and the school that i'm at... so when my supervisor asked if i was interested working FT now - which, ultimately, should allow me to stay at my current school next year, too - i said i would be. i didn't think it would happen so fast, though. i'm a little nervous about giving up my "2 days off" (which have been heavenly and so crucial for my weight-loss - having time for me) but job security + higher income is always a good thing. i'm hoping to get into a regular routine this way, too. i'm a total night owl so i'm up WAAAY too late most nights... now that i HAVE to get up at 6:30 every morning (as opposed to 8:00 the 2 days i'm off - when A usually wakes up) will force me (hopefully) to get to bed earlier (midnight is my goal) the entire week. i'm also hoping to start to work-out 3-5 days a week and being on a more regular routine should help with that. so we'll say how everything pans out (what a strange expression). at this very moment, i'm super excited that i have another day off (woo-hoo!) due to very minor freezing drizzle. days off are even more special now that i'm working all week. that being said, i hope i don't slid on the ice like i did a few weeks ago, causing a fender bender!!!

in other news, i have begun working out! yay! only once a week - for now - 30 minutes on the treadmill at 3.5 speed (no incline) - definitely taking it slow to begin with - but it feels great. of course, not great enough to raise my motivation to actually go to the gym more but hopefully with my new routine (see above ;)) that will change. my gym is really nice, too, and i'm sick of paying over 100 bucks a month (family membership) since august and literally not going until this month.

oh, i had a big news flash last week - when i'm tired, i am STARVING. it feels like physical hunger but i know if i was rested, i wouldn't get so hungry - so it's kind-of a catch 22. it's left me eating 5-6 proteins/yogurts a day (instead of my usual 4) which caused my weight loss to slow down a bit this week. it also causes me to feel genuine hunger and the need to eat.eat.eat all.day.long. even though i'm only eating protein bars/yogurts for the most part (and not even craving anything else), it's still an uncontrollable feeling, in a way. it also causes me to chew a ridiculous amount of gum each day. i've realized that i can't stand the taste of food in my mouth (after i eat). i must chew gum then. when i used to smoke (i smoked for 5 years and quit 8.5 years ago), i had that same feeling - must smoke after eating. of course, gum chewing is much healthier but still... i'm trying to get rid of all food-type obsessions or whatever you call it.

i went to GW this past saturday morning since the roads were icy this past thursday night. i LOVE going in on saturday (besides having to wake up very early to go in)! i know so many people there now that it's beginning to feel like a real community for me. i love my GW friends and continue to find myself feeling so grateful and appreciative to this program (and not only b/c of the weight-loss)! it's an AMAZING program in every way. speaking of weight loss.... i was 2.8 pounds lighter but it was a morning weigh-in so, in my eyes, i really just plateaued this week. not too surprising considering the extra calories i consumed (on extra proteins/yogurt plus a slice of pizza ) this week. did i mention that our electricity was out for 33 hours during the snow storm last week. yep. not fun.

enough random rambling for this morning... be back soon... hopefully with a "i lost 100 pounds - yahoo!" update - i'm at 98.5 pounds now! so close!

51.4 pounds later....and a sigh of relief

I love before & after photos... they really help motivate me to keep going....

I'm breathing a huge sigh of relief over here... talked to Dr. F today and my liver enzymes(?) are almost back to normal... Thank You, G-d!!! So I can continue on the program and, more importantly, I'm okay (hopefully -- knock on wood)!

I'm getting lots of nice compliments these days. Two co-workers this week told me that I'm looking"fantastic"... so sweet. Some days I really feel great and other moments... still huge... guess that's all part of this fun "game". Regardless, I am so very very very thankful that I've found such a wonderful program and that I've been able to control my eating for the first time in a very long, long time. The fat suit is slowly peeling off of me... and I'm beginning to emerge again.... cheezy but so true.

2 months!!!

I've been on the program for exactly 2 months now! I am ECSTATIC about the following (in no particular order):

-- my bmi is no longer in the "morbidly obese" range

-- i've lost almost 50 pounds (48.4)

-- my blood pressure is normal now (usually)

-- my blood sugar is normal now

-- i've gone down 3 sizes in clothes which means i'm beginning to wear much cuter clothes again ;)

-- i'm beginning to feel like myself again and not me stuck in a fat suit

-- i can walk much faster

-- i can go up the stairs without losing my breath

-- i'm much prouder of myself... i have so much more confidence now

-- i'm in control. again. finally!!!

the last 2 months have been close to miraculous. i feel like this program is literally a lifesaver. i don't know what would have happened if i hadn't joined when i did (actually, i do and it's not pretty!) . i am very very thankful for this wonderful program and for my amazing family & friends who have been there for me through it all, thick and not-as-thick. ;)

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on another note, i started feeling MUCH better yesterday, Thank G-d. Not sure if it was a stomach bug or complications from my period??? Just glad I'm not sick anymore. Was able to make it to GW (lost 4.8 lbs this week) and attend 2 classes. I really need to start talking less in the classes... I just get so excited & can relate so well to what everyone's saying... it's hard to shut myself up some times... but i will *try* to!!!

week 8 update

My little love, A, starts preschool - officially - tomorrow. he'll be at the same school that he's been in for the last 2 years... but with a different teacher and mostly new classmates. we're BOTH nervous!!!

This could be why i'm so flippin' hungry tonight! gum is a lifesaver, though... i'm on my 2nd piece and it's helping to curb my cravings. shocking considering i never chewed gum until a few weeks ago.

One really cool part of losing weight is i can be in pictures again! even though i HATED (OMG) how i looked in photos for 3 years now -- and avoided them at all costs -- i still would take a pic of A and I together every month or so. i once read on a blog that kids want to see pics of them with their parents... regardless of how the parent looks... which i totally agree with. the great thing is now i ASK for steven to take my picture! such a change!

Above is a before/after "sitting down" pic with adam... the first pic was taken in june (pre weight loss) and the 2nd pic was taken yesterday (-43+ pounds down). pretty.freakin'.cool... if i do say so myself. =)

Overall, as I'm wrapping up week 8, I'm feeling very, very thankful. Thankful to G-d for giving me the strength to do this, thankful for GW's phenomenal program & thankful for family & friends who have loved me throughout... thick or thin (literally).

2 weeks down... um, about a gazillion weeks left!

So I've been on my "program" for 2 weeks now.... although, I swear, it feels like it's been 2 months (at least). I think I've read that it takes 3 weeks for something to become a "habit" so hopefully that will be soon. I'm still feeling pretty good, at least... besides my ridiculously low energy which is a result of my "terrible" (per the doctor) anemia and the fact that I barely sleep at night (I do take good naps, though). Anyway.... I am so thankful and happy to be on this program. Just wish I didn't have so much darn weight to lose. One day at a time, right?!?