the latest...

Once again, where to begin? I guess at the beginning, it's a very good place to start... apparently, I have "The Sound of Music" in my head. :) Anyway...

Last week was SO BUSY and I have a feeling it's going to be this way until winter break (which starts next Wed. for me - Yahoo!). As a result, I had that terrible insomnia last week which, thank goodness, "cured" itself on Friday night for the most part. Since then, I've been sleeping 4-5 hours stretches at a time, going to bed earlier, and usually able to fall back asleep if I've woken up at 4 in the morning (usually due to A climbing into our bed at that time). So, that's definitely a positive.

When I went into GW last week, I was happily surprised to see that I lost 4.2 pounds which puts my total at 84 - at almost 5 months from my starting date. WHEEE!!! Very, very cool!!! I was super excited as I've never lost this much weight before (and will hopefully never have to do so again) let alone in such a short timespan. It is kinda incredible, I have to say. The coolest part is probably clothing and feeling more confident (besides feeling lighter, being healthier, etc.).

I have always been a huge "clotheshorse" (do people even use that expression anymore?!?) and when I hit my heaviest weight this summer (unpublishable until I hit 100 lbs. gone!) I seriously could not fit into anything except super baggy tops and elastic skirts. Fortunately, Dress Ba.rn has really nice & comfortable plus size clothes so I fit into 2 of their dresses, as well. However, everything still felt tight. I hadn't worn pants or jeans since I had been pregnant (mid-late 2006, early 2007). Winter clothes were terrible since I had to wear skirts in the freezing cold. I felt bad and I know I didn't look too hot either. NOW, I can FINALLY wear PANTS again!!! Yahoo!!! I am the proud owner of 2 pairs of cords from Tal.bots and 1 pair of Le.vi's jeans! They are a size 20 BUT I fit into an 18 (but they were clearly too tight). Most importantly, I think I look halfway decent in them (hopefully) and they're WARM and COMFORTABLE. Sooo nice! I can now fit into almost any top/shirt. I'm still buying 2x b/c I really love being able to feel clothes a bit loose on me as it's been SO LONG since I've felt that. Now when I go places, I don't feel "huge". It's the best feeling!

All that being said, I am not at my lowest weight, not nearly. I am still about 35 pounds heavier than I was when my husband met me 11 years ago... and a whopping 55 pounds heavier than my "thinnest" weight (when I was a size 10). I am only about 15 pounds heavier, though, than my "usual" comfortable weight which gives you an idea of how incredibly heavy I got in the past 3-4 years. What's interesting is that most of my local friends & all of my current co-workers have only known me to be extremely overweight... so, to them, I'm "skinny"... if that makes sense. I literally hear about my weight 2 - 5 times a day. From EVERYONE. Even some teacher at A's school who I've only seen in passing. I'm glad that my husband (S) gets where I'm coming from ; he's actually been great about the weight loss. He's complimentary (and relieved!) but not to the point where I feel like all I am is a "weight" to him... if that makes sense at all. He doesn't talk about my weight 24/7 (he never did). Which I kinda like b/c sometimes I feel that all I am is my size... whether it's morbidly obese or 84 pounds thinner. This probably doesn't make any sense at all which I apologize for... it's hard to put these thoughts & feelings into words.

Moving on... S and I attended a black-tie affair, the "Moonlight Ball", with my Mom and Marty on Saturday night. I have to admit that I felt AWESOME in my purple dress (size 18)! I was going to buy my usual black dress but saw the purple dress, which was marked down significantly, and loved the color & neckline... see photos above. The ball itself was kinda boring which I feel guilty saying, but it was! I was also a little tired and in a grumpy/negative mood. Not sure where that was coming from. I know I was annoyed at S but for no "real" reason. So, to be honest, the night itself wasn't all that great. Regarding food, I ate some appetizers (baba ghanoush - yum!) but didn't overdo it. I ordered the vegeterian entree which was some nasty tofu. Grosssssssssss. So, I made up for it during dessert. I kinda went nuts. They had a dessert buffet with a chocolate fountain and fresh fruit. And pastries. Lots of pastries. What can I say? I ate dessert until I felt sick. In retrospect, I don't think I ate THAT much (the equivalent probably to 1, maybe 2, dessert portions) but for me it was obviously a lot. Ironically enough, the "me" 6 months ago would've eaten the equivalent of 5 desserts. Anyway... I did love the chocolate fondue strawberries and jelly cookies... and promptly felt quite ill about 10 minutes after eating them... and kept feeling ill for 24 hours afterwards! Seriously! It felt like a "sugar hangover". I was nauseous and felt achy for an entire day afterwards. Which I guess is a sign that I can't overeat sugar/fat anymore. Which is possibly a good thing. Now will that stop me at another black-tie affair with a dessert bar? Probably not... time will tell. Fortunately, I was able to go right back on program yesterday without a problem. I hope I didn't gain weight from Saturday night - I know I'll be discouraged if I do - time will tell.

I think that's enough for now. If you've read all this, I'm impressed - and thankful for your interest! ;) More again, hopefully soon!