hi all - if there is an "all" - not sure if anyone is even reading this little blog anymore? hello? if you are reading, please let me know :) - i'm just curious. :) regardless if i have any readers or not (somewhat sad, admittedly - lol), this has been a good way to track my feelings/updates regarding my weight loss. i feel/think so much about it every day - and hear comments now on my weight loss every.single.day - but it's hard to find the time to sit down and process everything. i'm trying to do so once a week from now on. speaking of goals...
-- i'm almost at my first goal which is to lose 100 pounds. my second goal is only 2.2 pounds after that... which has to do with my actual weight... which i will (finally) reveal when i hit the 2nd goal. hey, it took ME 3 years to see how much i weighed (i accidently saw my weight my 2nd week on program - not on purpose!) which is why i'm so hesitant to reveal my weight "on-line". but i will. hopefully soon. i now tell close friends and gw friends my starting weight - so i'm coming around.
-- after i hit the first 2 goals, my next goal is to lose about 20 more pounds (so about 25-28 pounds away depending on my weight tomorrow which may not be good since i ate extra bars & yogurts all week - i was sooo hungry!) on program A (bars/shakes/yogurt) with the occasional meal off the plan. *** see below ***
-- after i hit that 3rd goal - which should put me at a size 12/14 (hopefully!) - i will transition to plan B which is 600 "real food" calories a day plus 2 meal replacements (shakes/bars) & yogurts a day - a total of 1000 - 1200 calories a day. i would LOVE to lose another 20 pounds this way (almost 50 pounds away from my current weight - almost 150 pounds total - omg. i should be on Peop.le Magazine!) but we'll see how everything's going.
-- after that -- definitely down the road, i obviously would like to transition to a healthy diet of 1400 - 1800 calories a day -- 3 healthy "real" meals a day and 2-3 snacks which will probably consist of protein bars & yogurt (i really do like them) to maintain the weight. i will also "treat myself" to 1-2 meals (probably at a restaurant) each week. :)
i haven't mentioned any of this to my doctor and i haven't even met with a dietician or taken a dietician's class yet but this is how i'm kinda picturing it to go. we shall see.
*** i should mention that there's a SMALL chance that i may (may!) try to get pregnant between now and june (we haven't decided yet - i'm anxious even thinking about it!) which of course means i'll put on 15-20 pounds. i had no problem losing weight after A so i'm not too stressed about this. i'll be at a much lower pregnancy weight, too, then i was with A.***
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Food is no longer my friend & other updates
Hello all! Happy (very belated) New Year!!! I have missed writing here so much! Been incredibly busy with the holidays, trip to CA, getting back into the routine/work, etc. The good news is that I'm still doing really well with the program. I "celebrated" six months on the program this past weekend and am down 91.6 pounds, officially. Here are some other highlights:
-- Holidays were difficult, in terms of food. I LOVE BAKED GOODS and one of my students baked the most delicious "snowflake" and choc. chip cookies for me - YUM! I had 1-2 little cookies a day and a few "tastes" of other "holiday" foods for a few weeks in December. I even ate very fattening food - but in moderate amounts - at a holiday brunch one morning. It was the most "tempted" I had been since starting the program. My strategy of just having "a little bit" worked, though... this holiday season, at least. Very, very cool.
-- We went to Palm Springs, CA to meet up with my brothers at the end of the month. It was great spending time with them even though A was a MESS being outside of his "comfort zone" (home). He was overtired, overstimulated, overeverything most of the time which caused a ridiculous amount of stress for me. Food-wise, I did great, if I do say so myself. :) I ate out 1-2 meals a day - which I had planned to do - and had protein bars/shakes/yogurt the rest of the time (kinda like Plan B, I imagine). I made HEALTHY CHOICES the entire time (grilled chicken wrap sandwiches, salmon with veggies, frozen yogurt, etc.). It felt really great - eating what I wanted, for the most part - but choosing healthy items. This was HUGE for me (no pun intended) and hopefully a sign of future success of keeping the weight off. Hopefully.
-- I've come to realize that food is no longer my friend - both good & not-so-good news. A has been awesome - for the most part - since we've been back. However, he had a meltdown when I picked him up yesterday. Not sure what it was about - probably need for attention/boredom - but, once again, it really upset me and sent me a mini panic attack. I realized that I didn't want food then or even afterwards, when I was feeling a bit better. I realized that even if I had eaten (binged), it wouldn't have lessened the anxiety I was feeling - well, maybe for a minute but that's about it. I guess food can no longer dull my anxiety and pain. Which is great BUT it was a real comfort for so long... it's like swimming without a lifejacket - or something like that!
I'm running late for work so I need to end this post. I'll be back soon, though! :)
-- Holidays were difficult, in terms of food. I LOVE BAKED GOODS and one of my students baked the most delicious "snowflake" and choc. chip cookies for me - YUM! I had 1-2 little cookies a day and a few "tastes" of other "holiday" foods for a few weeks in December. I even ate very fattening food - but in moderate amounts - at a holiday brunch one morning. It was the most "tempted" I had been since starting the program. My strategy of just having "a little bit" worked, though... this holiday season, at least. Very, very cool.
-- We went to Palm Springs, CA to meet up with my brothers at the end of the month. It was great spending time with them even though A was a MESS being outside of his "comfort zone" (home). He was overtired, overstimulated, overeverything most of the time which caused a ridiculous amount of stress for me. Food-wise, I did great, if I do say so myself. :) I ate out 1-2 meals a day - which I had planned to do - and had protein bars/shakes/yogurt the rest of the time (kinda like Plan B, I imagine). I made HEALTHY CHOICES the entire time (grilled chicken wrap sandwiches, salmon with veggies, frozen yogurt, etc.). It felt really great - eating what I wanted, for the most part - but choosing healthy items. This was HUGE for me (no pun intended) and hopefully a sign of future success of keeping the weight off. Hopefully.
-- I've come to realize that food is no longer my friend - both good & not-so-good news. A has been awesome - for the most part - since we've been back. However, he had a meltdown when I picked him up yesterday. Not sure what it was about - probably need for attention/boredom - but, once again, it really upset me and sent me a mini panic attack. I realized that I didn't want food then or even afterwards, when I was feeling a bit better. I realized that even if I had eaten (binged), it wouldn't have lessened the anxiety I was feeling - well, maybe for a minute but that's about it. I guess food can no longer dull my anxiety and pain. Which is great BUT it was a real comfort for so long... it's like swimming without a lifejacket - or something like that!
I'm running late for work so I need to end this post. I'll be back soon, though! :)
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